So I went on this date tonight. And he was nice and cracked jokes and looked into my eyes as if he were truly listening to every word that came out of my mouth. He talked highly of his family and his dreams and the experiences that shaped his life.
And as he was talking, my mind wandered everywhere beyond that quaint little booth of the dark bar and grill on the corner of my newest home. I thought about ice cream. I thought about my tv shows, my friends, last weekend, this weekend, the weather outside, and you.
I thought about you.
And the longer the date, the less I cared about surpressing the yawns escaping my body. My eyes began to droop and he could see my lack of interest and attention. As we left the restaurant, promising to see each other again, I knew I was lying. Because I called you before I had a chance to cross the street.
I needed your voice. I needed your comfort.
I needed you.
And I was tired. I spent the entire day speaking with strangers and forcing conversations and the last thing I wanted to do was try to do those things on my own free time.
I wanted to run. I have a book I need to finish. There’s laundry that needs washed and a lawn that needs mowed. And there’s you.
What I wanted to do after I left the office was to come home and cook dinner while I awaited your arrival. I wanted to greet you on the street with my bare feet and big smile and kiss you for all the world to see. I wanted to walk you inside, set your things in my room, and spend the rest of the night talking to you and kissing you and falling more and more in love with you.
So I’m done dating. I’m done trying to find your replacement. I’m done putting myself out there for lifeless dinner dates and men who are dead inside. I want you. & I will wait till I can have you again.