Why We Leave Behind Mr. Right and Chase After Mr. Wrong

We’ve all done it. We sit down with our friends and a box of wine and discuss our ideal man. From his looks to his personality, all the way down to his own mother, we have an idea of what we’re looking for in that special someone. We call him Mr. Right.

He’s the man we want our children to call Dad and the guy we want to crawl in bed with after a long day to make us feel okay about our lives. We want him to care for us and love us unconditionally. He’s everything we’ve always been looking for. So why do we run?

I have been given various opportunities to be with some of my own Mr. Rights. These men were incredibly nice, down to earth, funny and easy-going. These were overall good men. So why didn’t I choose them? Why am I single when they’ve literally sat in the palm of my hand?

I chose the assholes instead. I chose the chase. The guy that knew how to charm a girl with his wit and good looks. The guy who could be seeing multiple girls at one time and not feel any kind of remorse whatsoever. Those were the kind of guys I was drawn to. I literally put my hand up to the Mr. Rights of the world, only to chase men who had no interest in me or my feelings.

They’re exciting. They’re mysterious because they aren’t like us. We want to know more and we’re drawn to the charm they use on all women. We want to feel young and reckless and ruthless, and Mr. Right isn’t going to make us feel that way.

We think, “Oh I have my whole life to settle down with someone who understands me and knows my feelings.” The man I will settle down and grow old with cannot possibly be found at this place at this point in my life. But what happens when we turn around and we’re halfway through life and we missed our shot, our one true chance at love? What if we wasted it on wasted nights that turned into regretful mornings with men who can’t even pronounce our first name? When we’ve taken too long in our chase for the Mr. Excitings of the world, that we’re too late?

We are just. too. late.

So, it’s time to start reevaluating that list of who we desire. It’s time to start rethinking who we chase. It’s time to stop letting the ladies man win. We must start giving the Mr. Rights a chance in this world, not only for them but for ourselves as well. Give Mr. Right a chance and you may find yourself feeling much better about your life and yourself.

Advertisements

I’m (FINALLY) Ready to Love Again.

I’m ready to love again.

I’m ready for that heart-wrenching, soul-captivating love that makes me feel like I can conquer the world. Don’t get me wrong, being single is essential for people my age. We’re young and in college and we don’t give a f*ck…right? Right. That’s us. But for those of us who are looking for young love, I hear you loud and clear. I’m ready, too.

As I sit here thinking about why I’m ready to love again, I realize there are many valid points I could use to defend my over-the-top desire for love right now.

My heart is brimming with a certain kind of love I want to dish out.

Yeah, I have love for myself and this love I have for my friends and family. But that’s different. I’m ready to give someone all of my romantic, captivating love. I have so much love to give and I am anxious to one day give (and take) all of that pent up love waiting for someone who thinks I’m just as wonderful as I believe him to be.

I’m emotionally ready again.

Phew, that took a while. I’ve spend more nights than I can remember (literally) bawling over my ex. I’ve ate for a family of five while binge-watching Grey’s and lived to not regret that. I’ve investigated his new girl and my last nights hook up. Neither of which, I wish to ever do again.

So I don’t. I don’t investigate their lives anymore. I’m focused on the future. On what’s ahead, not behind me. Sure, there’s still that piece inside that hurts when I hear his name, but that just means I loved and am capable of loving again. 

The casual sex can turn into something real annnnnnytime now…annnnytime. 

Sure, it’s fun. But time is love. And time spent with you in bed counts twice. There’s such a difference between hooking up and intimacy. I’m ready for the latter. I’m ready to make love and feel things so deeply from loving him so much. I’m ready to watch movies while not watch movies all at the same time. I’m ready for that make out session in your parents’ house right after dinner. I’m ready for intimacy and sex that actually matters.

I’m great at being in love. 

I’ve been in a relationship where we cared entirely too much about each other. Because of that, I’ve learned a lot about what to do and what not to do. I’m independent. I won’t be texting you all day every day or begging you to stay in with me on a Friday night. I can do my own thing and love you at the same time. I want to spontaneously pick you up and get ice cream while we roadtrip for hours just jamming out and being best friends. I want to have fun with you. I want to cook you a romantic dinner, and I want you to teach me how to play football. We’ll go for a run and look out for each other and respect each other.

You’ll be my person, and I’ll be yours. And if we one day decide that this love isn’t right for us, I will take all of our moments together and be forever grateful for the time we spent together. I know what it’s like to love and lose. I know what it’s like to love someone so much that you’re a happier person because of them. I know what it’s like to fall out of love with someone, and I know what it’s like to fall in love as well. I’ve seen every angle of it all. I’ve broken a heart and had my heart broken. We’ll walk, hand in hand, and be there for each other. You’ll be wonderful on your own and so will I. But we’ll be absolutely captivating together.